NEVER THE WISER Cast One room with a door in the back left that leads to the lodger(s). Another door, back right, near a window that looks outside to a dark sparse wood. Window will help indicate morning. The closed bar is offstage right. Room is slapdash and unclean. A couch, some chairs, a rocking chair, a low open cradle.
Scene 1 Sitting in one chair, old man WISER. In the rocking
chair, son, TOBY. MOM: What? What? WISER: (henpecked, putting out a cigarette) I said you can't get rid of the lodgers--we need the money now. I'll ask them again to be quiet, hon. MOM: (sniffing indignantly) My dear departed daddy bought us this house I don't see why I must suffer the-- (girls laughing men shouting in other room) WISER: Toby go see what the racket's about now. TOBY: (not getting up, throws his boot at the door, silence for a moment then burst of laughter and taunting from behind door, noise resumes as before) Did you hear they're looking for little Andrea. The police put up wanted posters. They think she robbed a bank. Her whole family's gone missing. And I hear her brother's just come home from the war. He must be all alone in that house wonderin where his family gone. MOM: (half-ignoring) Ooooh, ohhhhh (holding her sides) TOBY: Andrea robbing a bank! MOM: Ooooh, ohhhhh Ahhh! TOBY: Come here, Mum. (goes to her) WISER: Don't! (TOBY sits back down frowning) WISER: (MOM keeps whimpering) Listen Toby, how many times do we have to go over this? TOBY: I don't know. WISER: Of course you do you dope. I know she's in pain. The whole dumb town can hear she's in pain. You think you're the only one loves you Ma? You're not looking at the big picture again here son. (abrupt, as music plays thru wall) What the heck are they listing to? Is that Hank Williams? Why would those kids listen to Hank? (disgust) It kind of RUINS it… TOBY: I want to rock Mum. MOM: Oooh, I can't even think with this headache! TOBY: I'm going to just rock her a little bit. (Does, sitting on couch) MOM immediately quieted. WISER (whispering to TOBY with anger): You'll shrink her! TOBY (to WISER): Why can't we give her the lodger's room until she's better? They're up all night. If it's not the druggies, it's the freaks. They had all of the Rocky Horror cast over all night tripping out. They asked me to come in and made fun of me until I threatened to call the cops. One gal was covered in cat scratches and singing like some fucked up bird. We don't even HAVE a cat. WISER: I know we don't have a cat. I know. When we get some money, I'll bribe the Supervisor and get the bar going again-- MOM: (now herself again, sarcastic) Oh, MUCH better! A bar! Wonderful! More fights and dreaming drunks! Dancing girls and boys dressed up like hooded erections! (knock on back door) (JACK stumbles in with a bottle in his hand) JACK: Hey! Wiser! You let my friends in later, don't say anything. OK? Some friends that's all and Andrea might be looking to crash here. Just keep your mouth shut. Don't spit in your own soup. Here's a twenty (drops on floor). TOBY: Andrea? WOMAN: (stumbles in behind Jack ) Is he holding his mom again? Big boy loves his mommy! (drunk, laughing) Now who's the baby? You should try holding me, Toby! I want to be your baby! (TOBY looks away modest) JACK: Shut up you sloppy-- MOM: Where are your parents? What's your mother's number? I'm going to call her right now! (lodgers laugh and retreat to their room, WOMAN picks up $20 on the sly) WISER (getting up): Toby, you put Ma down NOW boy. She's a good inch shrunk! TOBY: (acquiescing) Why don't you ask Mom about whether I should-- WISER: Shut up! MOM: Well, yes, you probably should shut up now, son. (turns to WISER, nice) John, get me some that vegetable soup. Or did your guests help themselves again to the Campbell's? WISER: (getting up again, holding his back, goes off stage, from off) Well, there's cream of something… MOM: (tight lipped): That's for chicken casserole! Toby! Your father's going to let us starve! A whole empty bar full of empty glasses and empty cupboards! My father would boil in his urn! TOBY: I'll go out to the corner, Mum. (gets up and leaves house) WISER: We better go with him or he'll come back with dog food. That boy's got something going on that I don't trust. He's too old to be livin here with us anymore and not bein officially retarded. You know what he asked me the other-- (Sound of glasses breaking in other room) MOM: JOHN! They're destroying the place! Ooooh! (lights out)
Scene 2 Same room. No one home. ANDREA and her brother, the ex-SOLDIER let themselves in. No sound from back room. She holds a blue bag full of money. He is in uniform. They look around and both sit on the couch. When MOM enters, she is played by a young girl in old makeup--same MOM voice as Scene I from off stage while girl moves her lips. SOLDIER: How come I've never heard of this place? ANDREA: You were never going to places like this. There used to be a bar. SOLDIER: (hurt) I used to go to bars sometimes. ANDREA: (teasing) Only bars that were attached to family restaurants. SOLDIER: You were too young to know but I wasn't as innocent as all that. (pause, not that friendly) It's OK to stay here for a while then? You should hide that (about bag). (they look around, get up a moment) Here, under the couch. (they hide it under couch) (pause, awkward, looking at everything but each other) SOLDIER: How much you think we have? Did you ever count it? ANDREA: It was a small bank. I'd guess about ten thousand. (pause) SOLDIER: Is this where you used to dance, then? In this house? ANDREA: No. Don't. Don't be boring. (distant) I don't want to be bored after all this. We deserve better. With the money we can choose where we go, what conversations we want to have, we can make ourselves (he tries to hold her hand)--what are you doing? Just give me a while. Leave me alone for a while. I WANT to get out of this town first. (pause) ANDREA: You can hold my hand now if you want. (slight smiles) SOLDIER: (for something to say) When I was over there, in the desert, in Sulaymaniyah, I think, well I saw a bunch of these barefoot boys running after our truck, like for BLOCKS, looking for god knows what. We chucked water bottles at their heads. Anyway, they all had on those collared polo shirts we wore in the 80s. The ones with the little alligator remember. I think they had the collars up too. Striped shirts. It was weird. No it wasn't Sulaymaniyah. It was in Az Zubayr--Because Cheezer got hit in-- ANDREA: Just be quiet for now, OK? (Door opens. TOBY comes in with MOM in his arms, now she is half as tall. WISER follows and shuts the door. Puts a bag of groceries down. They are surprised for a moment. ) ANDREA: Evening Mr. Wiser. We let ourselves in. I forgot your bar's closed down. WISER: Ah you must be friends of Jack. He's lodging in the room right behind you. I can let you in if you like. (opens door) Coming in! Anybody dead in here? Heh. TOBY: Andrea. What's your brother doing here? Dad, you know Andrea. WISER: Sure, sure. How are YOU girl? And you there soldier, huh. SOLDIER: (to TOBY) We're not brother and sister anymore. You see, I was adopted so it's ok. (to WISER) Thanks. (they go into room and shut door. WISER sits in chair, TOBY, holding little MOM, in rocking chair.) TOBY: (rocking MOM) I don't ever understand this place. Andrea used to be so nice to me. She always had orange hands from rubbing tanning dye on herself. She left a big powder mark on her pillow when she slept over. (pause, we hear the couple in the back room MOM: (to TOBY) What's on your mind now Toby? Big Toby. You look down in the dumps. WISER: (to himself) Jesus H. Always a good sign having bank robbing strippers in your house. Like having a horseshoe up your ass. I wonder if they've still got the loot. (looks around a bit, holding back as he bends, almost gets down to look under couch) TOBY: Mom, I want to go to New York and become a playwriter. WISER: HERE we go! (back to seat) Why don't you become a ballerina. I mean whenever you finish shrinking your mother to dust, you dumb lump! MOM: Quiet John. TOBY: You guys always said I could leave and get a job doing whatever I put my mind to and I want to start a new life and make me a family in a town full of banks where my plays get (odd emphasis) lots of folks' attention-- MOM: Now Toby, you don't know how to write. TOBY: I can get someone to write down the words. I've got all the ideas already. WISER: Listen boy, I'll hear you out if you put your mom in her crib and stop rocking her. Sorry, dear, you know it's for your own good. (it's done. MOM starts softly whimpering, getting louder.) TOBY: I got this one idea. We have these dry ice machines that cover the audience with smoke. Then we tell them it's poison gas. Or we lock the doors and raise the heat until they all pass out and croak. WISER: (patronizing) And the actors? TOBY: Robots. With gears that go in their ears and swing from hooks. Some kind of robots. WISER: (patronizing) Any other plays, son? TOBY: (more confident) Well, this one's set in Hawaii. The hula girls have skirts made out of green knives. Details aren't important. WISER: What do you mean? TOBY: Well, the hula girls start spinning around to this monkey music little guitars and da doo da dee and the knives fly into the audience! Their blood gushes like beer! When everyone's dead we tell them what's going to happen! WISER: You know, you don't want to be a playwright. (lights cigarette) TOBY: Yes I do. WISER: (blows out smoke) You want to be a serial killer. (MOM howls) TOBY: A what? What did you say? (pause) TOBY: I want to be a playwright. (pause) WISER: (seriously) Why NOT a serial killer? (pause) TOBY: Because Jack said a playwright can't even get arrested. WISER: Did you just make a joke? TOBY: No… I don't know. MOM: OOOH oow fsssst I can't take it! Why does it always smell of hot dogs in here? (TOBY gets up and heads over to crib) (lights out)
Scene 3 It's about an hour later. MOM still girl-sized, Wisers sitting around watching a TV on a cart. JACK and friends arrive, loud crowd talking at same time. At least one woman. WISER, holding his back again, turns off TV. Old drunk DOC reels in with crowd. Puts hand on JACK's shoulder while he's talking. JACK throws him off. JACK: Get off me, Doc DOC staggers over to MOM DOC: Why Mrs. Wiser you've shrunk! MOM: Oh doctor, what can an old woman do? I'm in such pain unless my boy rocks me like a babe. It's a sad state sweet Jesus a sad state. DOC: Now I know I've been out of practice lately (lodgers snigger) on account of mourning my recently departed clients. But I can (swaying, pontificating) still advise an old patient can't I? TOBY: She's gonna shrink away Dad says. DOC: Tut tut. MOM: This is my boy, Toby, doctor. DOC: Toby. Toby. (pause) Toby. Toby. Toby. TOBY: Why are you saying my name over and over? DOC: (ignoring that, to MOM) Hats that smoke! Lice cookers! Hypochondriacs! German arms! (strange voice) AL-BI-NO abortions! MOM: Oh dear! LODGER: Here old man, have a nip. (Doc drinks from a flask) (ANDREA and SOLDIER stick their heads out door into main room. JACK intercepts and gently persuades them back inside) DOC: Ahh. (mumbles) That's the good ol mountain DEW! Now my lady, WISER: Leave her alone now. DOC: As of the latest research in oss-tee-oh-puh-ro-sis, when we say older people shrink, we don't mean they become tiny enough to live in your pocket! Like a baby mouse or a …a…(TOBY: Watch?) Right. We just mean that it's common for old maids to become a little shorter. It isn't dramatic or sudden. It takes place over years and may add up to only an inch or so maybe a little more, maybe less. A foot at most. This kind of shrinking can't be reversed. (impressively) But why does shrinking happen at all? TOBY: Why? DOC: Now listen Tony, as people get older, they generally lose some muscle and whatnot from their bodies as part of the natural aging process. Gravity that force that keeps your feet on the ground (TOBY looks at his feet) takes hold, and the disks, or cushions between the bones in the spine, get compressed. (acting it out with his hands) The back bones, called vertebrae say: vur-tuh-bray (no one does), end up pressing closer together, which makes a person lose a little height and shrink. Once you get a good night's rest, your body recovers, and the next morning, you're standing tall again. (DOC falls to the ground) JACK: (grabbing the stumbling doctor and throwing him out of the house) Get out of here you sad sack! Look me up when you get more of your hypodermic oaths! (turns to inside smiling) That's some doctor. TOBY: I heard he steals medicine. JACK: (to TOBY) The dying don't need medicine do they? Friends giggle JACK opens door to his room: (to friends left) Go introduce yourselves. Give the girl something to relax her. I'll be right in. (sits on couch) MOM: Go on get. WISER: What you want now Jack? JACK: (calm) I don't know if you've seen the posters but there's been some horrible mix up and the cops might be looking for our Andrea. Now, of course they've got it all wrong. Andrea wouldn't steal a glance. We're just going to keep her here tonight. Tomorrow she'll be on her way. WISER: I don't want to know--We don't go milling around for trouble. MOM: We should call the police is what we should go do! JACK (calmly playing with a knife now to general alarm): Oh short stuff, you know I'm on probation. Can't have that dear. No, Andrea and her soldier are going to have a little party here tonight--a going away party. That's all. It's nothing to get upset about. She's completely innocent as I've told you. TOBY: I knew it. JACK: Hey Toby, you want to go run an errand for me? You're not scared of Mexicans are you? TOBY: Sorry Jack. I'm a playwriter now. JACK: Oh, yes. That's right. Thought you might want to make some money. Now your bar's fucked. (falsely) How'd that come to pass again, old man? WISER: Who knows. JACK: Maybe Andrea knows. Maybe she has some girlfriends who know something about it. WISER: Leave us be, we won't tell nobody. JACK (leaving for his room) Sure sure. By the way, Andrea didn't have any bags with her when she came in did she? WISER: (staggered) I don't think so Jack. JACK: Wouldn't want the girl to leave without her bags, now. WISER: I didn't see no bags, I said. JACK: Well, so you did. Lodger door opens and SOLDIER is about to storm out of the house, intercepted by JACK from front and ANDREA tugging from behind. They all go back into lodger's room. SOLDIER: Who are these people? JACK: Now, now. Easy soldier. At ease. ANDREA: We'll leave in the morning like we said. Jack's going to help aren't you Jack? JACK: Said I would. Door shuts behind them--loud hurrah MOM: That boy is a class-A hoodlum. What kind of name is Jack? WISER: My name is John… MOM: So what? WISER: Quiet now. MOM: HOODLUM! HOODLUM! Why should I be quiet in my own house? First we have the bar and all the swearin and dumb drunks stomping around in muddy boots and the glasses chipped so they cut my lip when maybe I want a little warm feeling for myself before bed and now my room's a motel! My father would tell you something …(exaggerating name) JOHN! WISER: Your dad would be about 130 years old. MOM bends over whimpering. TOBY pick her up and sits in rocking chair. WISER wheels TV out, its back to audience, turns it on. We hear the murmur of a nondescript show. Blue light on family, lowered stage light. The rest of the scene spoken as if in a stupor as they are also watching the TV. TOBY: I love mommy. MOM: Toby is strong. WISER: I used to be strong but now I'm old. MOM: I was never strong and now I'm less strong. I'm worse than old. I'm sick. WISER: You are fouling up my life. No one likes sick people. They smell like glue. TOBY: I love my little mommy! MOM: (crying) You shouldn't say such things! My daddy bought me this house! WISER: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. TOBY: He's sorry, mommy. He's just a weak old man. WISER: (crying) I know. And they've shut down my bar. TOBY: Because daddy let the high school kids drink! MOM: At least he let the girls drink! TOBY: Daddy let the girls drink for free. WISER: I did! I did! Oh! But not for free. (smile) It wasn't exactly free! MOM: Not precisely free! TOBY: It wasn't free at all! WISER: (calm, all falling asleep) Oh well. WISERs fall asleep in their chairs as party sounds go on in back room. MOM in TOBY's arms. Lights dim, TV gets audible, we hear an old movie interrupted by a newsbreak about ANDREA's bank robbery: ANCHORMAN: We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you an exclusive update. We have security footage and audio of the recent bank robbery. The criminal at large? A young girl in sunglasses now being called the Barbie Bandit. Roll tape. (tape hiss, distorted voices from offstage) TELLER: Can I help you? ANDREA: Scooby Doo TELLER: You look like a fun girl. I must be dreaming. ANDREA: (spacey) I feel like someone in someone else's dream. If you ever see me when you're awake, tell me I said…Don't be afraid. They will tell us exactly what to do. TELLER: The people behind you are going to kill you! ANDREA: Guess what? Stick em up! (giggling) I've got a bomb put all the money in the bag. (to line of people, apparently, loud) I've got a BOMB in my bag! Lights and TV out.
Scene 4 Open scene, WISER asleep in chair, TOBY asleep in rocking chair, holding nothing in his cradled arms. Still nighttime. TV is static, static sound, white flashing light. Occasional drinking-party sounds from other room. WISER: (wakes up at a loud laugh from lodgers) Toby! Where's your Ma? TOBY: What? Where's Ma? (gets up. Looks down) OH! WISER and TOBY up looking at floor. Remove TV gingerly, comically, they are on tiptoes. WISER: You done shrunk her she's like a little bug now. Honey pie where are you? TOBY: I saw her fall down off my lap. She's gotta be here somewhere! (They are on hands and knees, upset) WISER: We need a flashlight! Loud smash is heard. Door swings open lots of hoots and hollers WOMAN: What are you two rubes looking for? Someone punched the fish tank and water's pouring out--we need a bucket an' mop! TOBY: Don't come in here! Nobody come in here! WISER: Fish tank? The room'll flood! She'll drown! (whole party comes stomping in drunk, laughing at them) WISER: Toby, you dummy, find your Ma before she drowns! TOBY: I found her! Hey move! Look out! WISER: For god's sake tread lightly you jokers! God will judge! JACK: (in back with ANDREA and a wary SOLDIER (uniform messy)) What's going on here? We need a fucking mop! TOBY: Oh NO! I found her, paw! She's been stepped on by somebody. (swings his head around room) (he picks up something holds in cupped hands) Look! Everybody tries to see; almost drops her again WISER: Give her here boy! You galloots get back in the room or get lost! Group leaves house reluctantly except for JACK, SOLDIER, ANDREA. JACK (to SOLDIER AND ANDREA): Just sit down on the bed (in lodging room) you two, don't mind nothing. We'll get some sleep. Big day for you tomorrow, eh? (turns to WISER) The old lady's missing is she? Sorry chief. Maybe she wondered out; she's batty as a belly lately. Look I'm going to run to the old bar a sec and find some rags (does so, runs back to his room). TOBY and WISER huddle over speck in WISER's hands. TOBY cries. WISER walks to front door. TOBY (horrified): What you DOIN' Dad? Where you goin? WISER: She's dead boy. I'm gonna bury her by the apple tree. WISER leaves for a few seconds TOBY paces stage more and more upset. Quiet from backroom. WISER returns wipes dirt off his hands onto his shirtfront, holds his back. WISER: She was a fine tiny wife. It's better this way. (eyes Toby) She was in pain. Now she's on a little wisp of cloud up in heaven. TOBY: I don't know. Do you think I might be asleep? WISER: Come again? TOBY: Sometimes when something bad happens like my bones are sliding around in my arms and my teeth are crumbling like ice chips in my mouth, see then it turns out I was just dreaming. It feel like that now, like things couldn't really be this way. WISER: Sit down. (neither do) I been alive a lot longer'n you. I seen my ma and pa die, stinkin in their sick beds and I seen their faces almost see-through and their arms covered in flakes and spots. I seen my Ma close her eyes to the world years before the Lord had the sense to take her. And that was 20 years ago itself. And after today, life'll keep askin' for you to do something for another 20. You can't wake up. There's nuthin else. Ask me, it's GOOD there's nuthin else. This is enough nonsense to deal with. TOBY: I feel sick. WISER: Toby, we've got to move on. We need to pull ourselves up, you and me, and figure out a new plan. I think we should sell this house and try our hand at something new. TOBY: Sell the house? WISER: Too many bad memories, boy. From outside (faint): WISER: Why I can still hear yer Ma in the wind outside, like a telltale heart. TOBY: What are we gonna do? WISER: Well, we could get you some work downtown and rent a small apartment. I ain't got many years left you know. I could invest the money from the house, maybe one day you start your own business. You'd like that Toby? Be your own boss? You gotta look at the BIG picture. You know, I guess we could (eyeing TOBY) burn the house and get the insurance. That'd be no problem at all-- TOBY: Pa? (punches WISER hard in his face) WISER crumples with his head at the couch where the bag of money is We hear moans and whimpers from outside, louder now TOBY clutches his head, staggers away. WISER comes to, sees money, points, half gets up, blood in his mouth. WISER: T-Toby! Toby! (pointing at couch, excitedly) TOBY grabs him throws him against far wall and strangles him. WISER: (horror) Y-you ARE a killer! TOBY: (calm, cranes head to audience) This is a play. Lights out Ooooh, ohhhhh Ahhh!
Scene 5 Morning. WISER slumped dead in far chair with sheet over him, covering him entirely. TOBY sits in rocking chair with head in hands. SOLDIER and ANDREA try to sneak out. JACK comes out of lodger's door behind them, watches them as they whisper to each other by front door. SOLDIER: (whisper) Go get it. ANDREA: (whisper) Jack says he can get us tickets. SOLDIER: (whisper) I don't trust him. JACK: That's unkind. TOBY wakes up, looks dumbly at the three. ANDREA: Jack! It's just--We need to leave soon. When's your friend coming by with the IDs, the train tickets you said-- JACK: He'll be here soon enough. Toby, where's the old man? TOBY: Gone. (depressed, waves hand in air) Gone. JACK: Sit down you two. C'mon, you know there's police all over town lookin' for you, baby. (They sit on couch. JACK stands) Of course, I know you're innocent. You didn't rob the bank now did you Andrea? SOLDIER: Of course she didn't. We just need to get away stay low and let this thing blow over that's all. It's a big mistake. We're going to get a lawyer. We'll be back in town with a lawyer. We'll be able to repay your kindness then, of course. TOBY: You're innocent, aren't you Andrea. ANDREA: Of course, Toby. (nervy) Toby, how have you been? TOBY: I'm going to New York to be a playwriter. I've been thinking of the big picture. JACK: Look, shut up won't you Toby? From outside: OOOOOH AAAH! JACK: What's that whimpering? TOBY: Ghost. (depressed, waves hand in air) Ghost. ANDREA (holding SOLDIER'S hand): We'll just sit here. It's going to be fine. So Jack, your friends were awfully nice. Thanks for helping us out. You're friend Marlene. (nervous) That's her name right, Marlene? She's AWFUL sweet. JACK: (to TOBY) Hey man, why don't you run into the bar a sec and find me a beer. TOBY: We have soup. JACK: Go make some soup. TOBY leaves, ANDREA nervously looks after him JACK sits next to ANDREA, away from SOLDIER, puts knife under her chin. She stiffens. SOLDIER: Don't you hurt her. JACK: Where the money? SOLDIER: Don't you hurt her. JACK: Where the money? (to SOLDIER) I'll cut you up so bad the VA Hospital'll throw up. (awkward, cowardly pause from SOLDIER) ANDREA: Don't you hurt her. JACK: Where the money? From outside loud MOM whimpers TOBY rushes in with can of soup in his hand. Combined with MOM entering, the distraction allows SOLDIER and JACK to stand and tussle. MOM: (busts into the room covered in dirt, full-sized and half-witted. In an agonized haunted voice she continues oblivious to others) A graveyard of thimbles thumbnails! TOBY: Ack! Her ghost! (throws can at MOM, bounces off her head) MOM: (continuing in same voice) Tiny Mom in heaven taking the hand shadow of an injured engine driver and running across the lawn and down down the hill to a little boat a worm a green knife! SOLDER and JACK struggle over knife, SOLDIER is eventually stabbed in the stomach. SOLDIER: (bent over) Jesus! MOM: A little girl has died! A little girl has grown up and died! She was YOUR mother and now she's in a mouse's belly. She's covered in thin bones. Stabbed SOLDIER falls and pulls sheet off WISER, general alarm. JACK: Christ! I'm on probation! (runs out front door) ANDREA: (after JACK) You've killed him! Murder! Murder! Where's that doctor?! MOM: Women! Women! have lost their value. (in a husky voice, conjuring TOBY) An so when she had them low spells I'd jes take her up out of bed an rock her an sing some of the old hymns. TOBY: No no no! I can't stand it! Andrea! Come with me, to New York! (pulls her) MOM: She got a heap of comfort that away--though we had to be powerful careful never to have no rockin goin as when paw was around for fear he'd be yellin. ANDREA: (looks to SOLDIER on floor) My brother. TOBY: Oh, he's dead as a dog! C'mon! I'm gonna put you in my first play (cracks knuckles). MOM: (working her way to couch where she'll sit) But when he wont there wasn't nobody left to home but Toby an so he kep it up she getting littler and feebler till it seemed like I could feel she was lighter every time I hefted her She dies that away ion my arms, jes rockin. (smiles senile) TOBY and ANDREA have run out of house, TOBY pulling her by the hands. Silence. Gurgling SOLDIER points to under couch where bag of money is hidden. MOM: What is it honey? SOLDIER: The money. The money is under your sofa. MOM bends over like a girl, pulls out blue bag sits it on her lap. Smiles. MOM: Oh! How nice! She starts eating the bills like chips. SOLDIER groans and dies. MOM looks around a bit. MOM: (sing-song like a little girl--to the audience, especially last line) Now the play's over and no one's the wiser. (curtain closes) (curtain opens, cast bows, Toby lauded as playwright)
THE END |